funny grandma

An old man decides to start a farm. As an insurance adjuster, he always wanted to start a farm out in the country. He takes his retirement and moves out to the country, and immediately goes to a local market in order to purchase animals to start his farm with. He sees a stand with hens. He thinks, “Well, it wouldn’t…

An old man was sitting in a private box at a major football match with an empty seat next to him: A young enthusiast saw the empty seat and said to the old man. “Who on earth has paid for this expensive seat but not turned up! they must be mad, do you mind if I sit here?” The old man sadly looked up and said. “For …

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of the…

A biologist phones his wife from his office and says,  "Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season,  but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes,  my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas?  I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up."  A week la…

My wife and I have the secret to making the marriage last...  Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant,  have some good food,  a little wine and companionship.  She goes Tuesday and I go Friday.  We sleep in separate beds,  hers in Sydney and mine in Melbourne.  I take my wife everywhere,  but she keeps finding her …

An elderly woman walked into the main office of Chase Manhattan Bank building, holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the teller’s window that she wished to deposit the $3 million in the bag and open an account at the bank. She said that first, though, she wished to meet the president of t…

A wealthy man decided to go on safari in Africa. Instead of leaving him with a pet sitter, the man took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund was chasing butterflies and before long discovered that he was lost. After wandering for a bit, the dachshund noticed a leopard heading rapidly i…

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought t…