funny grandma

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, “Jesus knows you’re here.” He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled …

Dorothy and Edna, two old age “senior” widows, are talking. Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date,… I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer.” Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you,… what happened last week, He shows up at my apartment pun…

The end of a relationship can often be difficult and heartbreaking, but for this man named Peter, it was the opposite. The day his wife left him was the happiest day of his life, and he purchased a new BMW to commemorate the milestone. Later that evening, he drives the new BMW on the interstate.   He opened the top…

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, ‘I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.’ The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands o…

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse: He could not control his curiosity and ask. “Do you always carry your TV remote with you?” She replied. “No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote. * Moral: Accompany and support your wife in he…

A man applied for a job as a janitor at a large corporation and was invited for a job interview. The HR manager offered him the job and asked, “Can you please give me your email address so l can send you all the documents?” The man answered,” I don’t have an email address or a computer for that matter.” The HR mana…

After their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford any more kids.   So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but …

Husband and wife were both in the room discussing while the wife was busy with her phone. Wife: Hubby, this guy is still disturbing me Husband: Seriously? He is getting out of hand, you know what, tell him yu av agreed Wife: What? Husband: Don’t worry, we will both teach him a lesson Wife: How?? Husband: You just te…

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morn…

DDDDDDDDDDDD It’s a little Johnny’s seventh birthday. : For his birthday, his parents buy him a really superb cowboy outfit. it’s got everything: the boots, the spurs, the tiny plastic revolvers. The Little Johnny is thrilled; He doesn’t take the outfit off all day. That evening, the little Johnny’s parents take him …

John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde.   His buddies are amazed. “There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old geezer like you. How did you  pull it off?” “It’s simple,” John says, “I lied to her abou…

A woman was sitting in her front garden, enjoying the sun and reading a book, when she was startled by a car that crashed through her hedge and came to rest right in front of her. I mean a car crash that happened right in front of her, no wonder she was startled.   She got up from her chair and helped the elderly dr…