Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. "Mummy, I wa…
Read moreAn Amish girl and her mother were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The girl asked, “Mother, what is this?” The mother, never having seen an elevator, responded, “I have never seen anything l…
Read moreAn Irishman has been shipwrecked and stranded on an island for over 20 years. One day, on his daily walk of the beach, he sees something way out in the ocean. At first he couldn’t make out what it was, as it got closer, he could see something red. Finally, it was close enough to determine that the red was actua…
Read moreOne Halloween long ago, in a small town in the middle of nowhere, a boy went out with his friends…
One Halloween long ago, in a small town in the middle of nowhere, a boy went out with his friends… The boy, of course, did a bit more tricking than treating on that night. As he returned home after a long night of mischievous activities, he was confronted by his father. “Were you out tipping outhouses? Because our o…
Read moreA lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married 10 times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it …
Read moreThe other day I went over to our nearby Pharmacy. When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists’ Counter is located and took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter. The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me. I sai…
Read moreThe doctor and his wife were playing golf at the club. On the first Tee, she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway. The doctor said, “Wow, I have never seen you play this well before!” Marie says, “I took lessons.” A couple of days later on the tennis court in mixed doubles, she smashes her ser…
Read moreI am a Seenager – a senior teenager. I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. I have ID that gets me into bars and the whisky store. The…
Read moreTwo 90-year-old women, Bertha and Betty, had been best friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Bertha was dying, Betty visited her every day. One day Betty said, “Bertha, we both loved playing softball all our lives, and we played all through high school. Please do me one favor: When you get to heave…
Read moreHenry was doing maths homework, saying to himself... "2+5, the son of a b**ch is 7" "3+6, the son of a b**ch is 9" His mother heard this & asked, " Henry ! What is this nonsense you are doing?" "Oh Mom. Don't disturb. I am doing my maths homework" Mom: "Is this ho…
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