funny grandma

Family gatherings were the worst for Lara, especially since her sister, Emily, began to make fun of her love life, or lack thereof. Determined to sit through her father’s birthday dinner, Lara decides to hire a boyfriend for the night. Little did she know that a romantic comedy would play out. I love my family, bu…

Once upon a time, a talented American actress stole the hearts of millions with her incredible performances and captivating blue eyes. They were like the eyes of an icy princess, leaving everyone mesmerized. This remarkable woman’s name is Foster. Her journey into acting began during her early years at boarding scho…

A mother-in-law stopped by unexpectedly the recently married couple’s house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m waiting for Jeff to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered. “B…

An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol. “Ma’am, did you know you were speeding?” the officer said. The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?” “He said you were speeding!” the old man…

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?” The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and …

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.” His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can have two hou…

A blonde sits down in a bar next to a redhead. Both of them are having a good time when the news comes on the TV. The woman reporter shouts out ‘This just in! A man Is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump’ The redhead leans over to the blonde and whispers, ‘I bet you $50 that the man’s gonna jump.’ The blonde r…

A guy asked a girl in the library. “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl answered with a loud voice. “I don’t want to spend the night with you.” All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and told him.…

An 18 year old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says “who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!” The girl picks up t…

A young woman, (a new teacher) was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the male students. She quickly turned and asked, “What’s so funny Pat?” “Well teacher, I just saw one of your garte…

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn’t find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. “235,000 miles.” Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde’s friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whate…

Peggy Sue’s father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they’re planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they’ll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue’s father suggests, “Why don’t you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it.” Bobby …

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, “So y’all want to be cops, huh?” The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, …

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a brand new Ford F150. His parents look at the truck and ask, “Where did you get that truck?!” “I bought it today,” he says. “With what money?” says his mother. They knew what a new F150 cost. “Well,” he says, “this one cost me just fifteen dollars.” The father looks at him…

There was a German, an Italian and a Redneck on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: 1. to be shot 2. to be hung 3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. So the German said, “Shoot me right in the head.” (Boom, he was dead instantly). Then the Italian said, “Just hang me.” (S…

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be The Man of Your House.’ He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will se…

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak – the last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back…well here are the Testimonials of a few people who did…. First Testimony: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked lo…

The other night I was invited out for a night with the “girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up an…

Husband and wife sit together in the kitchen and have breakfast. Out of the blue she hits him with rolling pin. After a few minutes conscious again he asks:”What was that ? – Why did you hit me that hard ?” She: “That was for 25 years of bad s*x. “He continues eating his breakfast thinking about this for a few minut…