This is the letter that the man wrote to 

his wife: Dear Wife, I’m writing you this 

letter to tell you that I’m leaving you 

forever. I’ve been a good man to you 

for 7 years & I have nothing to show for 

it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. 

Your boss called to tell me that you quit 

your job today & that was the last straw.

 Last week, you came home & didn’t 

even notice I had a new haircut, had 

cooked your favorite meal & even wore 

brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate

 in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep 

after watching all of your soaps. You 

don’t tell me you love me anymore; You 

don’t want $ex or anything that connects

 us as husband & wife. Either you’re 

cheating on me or you don’t love me 

anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

 Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find 

me. Your SISTER & I are moving away 

to West Virginia together! Have a great 

life! Response from Wife Dear Ex-

Husband, Nothing has made my day 

more than receiving your letter. It’s true 

you & I have been married for 7 years, 

although a good man is a far cry from 

what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so 

much because they drown out your 

constant whining & griping Too bad that 

doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got 

a haircut last week, but the 1st thing 

that came to mind was ‘You look just like

 a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not 

to say anything if you can’t say 

something nice, I didn’t comment. And 

when you cooked my favorite meal, you 

must have gotten me confused with MY 

SISTER, because I stopped eating pork years ago. 

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from 

you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them,

 & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had 

just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all 

of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it 

out. So when I hit the lotto jackpot for 10 million 

dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to 

Jamaica; But when I got home you were gone.. 

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope 

you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. 

NOTE: My lawyer said that the letter you wrote 

ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take 

care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!