A woman was standing in front of the window in the maternity wing looking at her newborn baby when another new mom walked up beside her.

She pointed at a baby and said, "Is that your baby boy there?" The first woman replied, "Why, yes it is." The second woman then pointed at a baby boy beside it and said, "That's my third child. We named him Beauregard Winston Baldwin the THIRD after his great great great grandfather, the famous Confederate general."


"That's nice", said the first woman.

The woman kept talking. "My husband is buying me a four carat diamond ring to celebrate his birth!".


"That's nice", said the first woman again.

""When my second child was born, he gave me a brand new Mercedes Benz and took me to Tuscany for the Summer", she bragged again.


"That's nice", repeated the woman.

"And when I birthed our first child, my husband bought a yacht, named it after me, and we sailed around the world!" She continued.


"That's nice", said the first woman again.

"Is this your first child? What did your husband buy you?"

The first woman turned to her and said, "When we found out I was pregnant, My husband sent me to charm school."


"Charm school?!?!" The woman asked incredulously.

"Yes", the woman said. "That's where I learned to say 'That's nice" instead of "Who gives a f*ck?'
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🤔🤔🙃🙃
A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, “Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?”
The farmer shook his head and replied, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So what happened that’s so horrible?” the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
“Well,” the farmer said, “Today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket.”
“Okay,” said the man, “but that’s not so bad.”
“Some things you just can’t explain,” the farmer replied.
“So what happened then?” the man asked.
The farmer said, “I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.”
“And then?” the man asked.
“Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.”
The man laughed and said, “Again?”
The farmer replied, “Some things you just can’t explain.”
“So, what did you do then?” the man asked.
“I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.”
“And then?”
“Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.”
“Hmmm,” the man said and nodded his head.
“Some things you just can’t explain,” the farmer said.
“So, what did you do?” the man asked.
“Well,” the farmer said, “I didn’t have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in.. Some things you just can’t explain.”
😳😂😂
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