John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of my Life, between the legs

 of my wife!". 


That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!


He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."


She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"


John said, "Here's to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife."


"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.


The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street Corner. 

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."


She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years.

Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO SEND THIS ON


another joke

Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained began to talk about their kids – more specifically, how proud they were of their sons… But read until the end to find out a hilarious twist…

The first guy said, ‘My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics And Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.’
The second guy said, ‘Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.’
The third man said: ‘Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.’
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: ‘What are all the congratulations for?’
One of the three said: ‘We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. …What about your son?’
The fourth man replied: ‘My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.’
The three friends said: ‘What a shame… What a disappointment.’
The fourth man replied: ‘No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.’

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