John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde.




 
His buddies are amazed. “There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old geezer like you. How did you 

pull it off?”

“It’s simple,” John says, “I lied to her about my age.”

“Did you tell her you were 50?” his friends ask. John shakes his head no.



“There is no way she could believe you were 40”. John shakes his head again.



“So how old did you tell her you were exactly??”

John smiles and says “85”.


NEXT JOKE 

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She’d seen many books on

 the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools

 together, she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a

 circular cut in the ice.   Suddenly, from the sky, a voice

 boomed,”THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!”

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a

 thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole.

 Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, “THERE ARE NO

 FISH UNDER THE ICE!”

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the

 opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and

 tried again to cut her hole.

The voice came once more, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER

 THE ICE!”   She stopped, looked skyward! and said, “IS THAT

 YOU LORD?”

The voice replied, “NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE

 HOCKEY RINK!