A man gets stopped by a police officer for doing 31 in a 30 zone
The police man asks what the man’s job is.

The man says ‘I’m an asshole stretcher’

The police man asks ‘and what do you do in that?’

The man replies in detail ‘we get the customers ass and slowly enlarge it by first sticking our fingers in, then our whole fist, slowly increasing the size by stretching, pulling and tearing slowly open until around 6 feet large. We then get paid.’

The shocked police man nervously asks ‘what would you do with a 6 foot large asshole?’

The man replies ‘They stickem on the highway with a speed gun

grandma got run over by a reindeer