funny grandma

We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had,…

Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn’t know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, “Why don’t you go ask the young’n down the road? He must be smart ’cause he’s a college g…

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: “Hi, how are you?” I’m not the type to start a conversation in the men’s restroom, but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, ‘I’m doing just fine.” And the other guy says: “So, what are you up to?” What kind of …

Yesterday I received a friend request from a young attractive guy. ..about 19-20 years old... I was curious. I wanted to know why someone that young wanted to be my fb friend. So I accepted it. Then he started sending me private messages..  He called me beautiful. He asked my age. I'm not a liar so I told him an…

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walks into a pub in Dublin She raises her right arm, revealing a huge hairy armpit. She points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”. The bar goes silent as the patrons try to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, …

A retired man purchased a home near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. They then did so the following day and th…

A very wealthy lawyer in a small town is notorious for never giving money to any charity that comes his way.   The local animal shelter knows he has a dog and they think that this could be their way into his wallet.   They go to his door and he answers, “What do you want?”   One of the ladies replies, “Hello Mr. Smi…

A woman had twin babies and fell asleep  immediately after.   A couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and  asks the doctor, “Where is my baby?!”   The doctor replies, “They are both fine, you have a  beautiful boy and girl.   Your husband went back to work and you were out  so long that your brother named them.…

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.   Years later, they get back together to discuss the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother for her 90th Birthday.   The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”   The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”   The third smiled…