funny grandma

sorry! first time only posted half! still a favourite oldie! After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi-million dollar home and since the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed. He gave Edith his now ex-wife …

A Grumpy Old Man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been t…

I took a cab and told the cabbie I was in a hurry.   The cabbie said no problem and starting speeding through the streets. We came up on a yellow light and instead of slowing down, he sped up and shot through the intersection.   I asked, “Hey, should you slow down a bit?”   “Don’t worry about it. All of my buddies d…

AND NOW FOR "DUMMIES OF THE DAY": 9-1-1 Calls Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?. *************** Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your …

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do. She called home and told the baby sit…