funny grandma

CHUCKLE OF THE DAY: Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly&quo…

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. G…

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store: The parrot said to her. “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot and it said to her. “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”…

An old guy, a young man, an old woman, and a young women are all riding in a train. The two women were facing the two guys in the same compartment. As the train was going crossing the countryside, it enters a tunnel, and everything becomes dark. While in the tunnel, you hear a KISS then a SMACK. When the train leav…

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping cabin on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the…

“Mom, you were my first friend and after all this years you still have been my true loyal friend. I love you now and forever.” “Mom, you are the only one. Sees all, says little. Sacrifices all, complain a little. Gives all, expects little. Blessed to have a mom like you. I love you.” “My mother is a woman like no o…

Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich”. The second lad…

The Old Lady Who Makes Bets A little old lady went into the headquarters of the Bank of America, one day, carrying a large bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!” The receptionist objected, stating, “You can’t just walk i…