funny grandma

An old man on his death bed has spent his  entire life pinching pennies and clinging to all  of his money. Friendless, he is surrounded by  his priest, doctor, and lawyer.  Just before he dies he tells them, "I know most  people say that you can't bring money with you after you die, but I want you to  all thr…

An old man on his death bed has spent his  entire life pinching pennies and clinging to all  of his money. Friendless, he is surrounded by  his priest, doctor, and lawyer.  Just before he dies he tells them, "I know most  people say that you can't bring money with you after you die, but I want you to  all thr…

Tom married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said the judge. “Well, your honor, every once in a while my sister-in-law would come over for a visit, and  because she and my wife looked exactly alike, every once in a wh…

An elderly man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about …

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then…

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back. Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever …

An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.  The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The American snapped his gum and said, “You Australian folk eat the whole bread?” Th…