funny grandma

My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in.   As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!”   My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either stil…

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don'…

Some friends and I went out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.   It seemed a little strange.   When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.   Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spo…

A man was in a long line at the supermarket. As he got to the checkout he realized he had forgotten to get condoms. So he asked the checkout girl if she could have some condoms brought up to register. She asked, “What size condoms?” The customer replied that he didn’t know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did, a…