funny grandma

A kid walks into a general store, walks up to the owner and asks for a job: The owner says. "you think you'd make a good salesman?" The Kid says. "I don't know. I think so." Owner says. "I'll tell you what. Next customer comes in, you watch me. If you think you can do what I do, …

A young man with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth & a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job, I don'…

Our  teacher asked what my favorite animal   was, and I said, "Fried chicken."  She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.  My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he sai…

Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar. Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized ki…

A teacher was explaining biology to her 4th grade students.   “Human beings are the only animals that stutter,” she said.   A little girl raised her hand. “I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.”   The teacher, knowing how precious some children’s stories could become, asked the little girl to describe the incident.   “We…

The husband slices his tee shot into the trees.  They find the ball resting behind an oak.   The man is about to chip out onto the fairway when his wife, standing a few feet behind, stops him.   “Honey, from here I can see the flagstick.  Why not try to reach the green?”   He takes a look, decides to take the shot, …

On a cold rainy evening a salesmanship car ran out of gas, not wanting to spend the night in the car the man sought help,within 5 minutes the salesman spotted a barn yard light and proceeded to it. He knocked on the house door and an older farmer greeted him there. The salesman explained he had ran out of fuel and a…