funny grandma

Yesterday I received a friend request from a young attractive guy. ..about 19-20 years old... I was curious. I wanted to know why someone that young wanted to be my fb friend. So I accepted it. Then he started sending me private messages..  He called me beautiful. He asked my age. I'm not a liar so I told him an…

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walks into a pub in Dublin She raises her right arm, revealing a huge hairy armpit. She points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?”. The bar goes silent as the patrons try to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, …

A retired man purchased a home near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three loud young boys came down his street, beating merrily on every bin they came across. They then did so the following day and th…

A very wealthy lawyer in a small town is notorious for never giving money to any charity that comes his way.   The local animal shelter knows he has a dog and they think that this could be their way into his wallet.   They go to his door and he answers, “What do you want?”   One of the ladies replies, “Hello Mr. Smi…

A woman had twin babies and fell asleep  immediately after.   A couple of weeks later she finally wakes up and  asks the doctor, “Where is my baby?!”   The doctor replies, “They are both fine, you have a  beautiful boy and girl.   Your husband went back to work and you were out  so long that your brother named them.…

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.   Years later, they get back together to discuss the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother for her 90th Birthday.   The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”   The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”   The third smiled…

Grandmother used to call Friday the 13th, National Pigeon Poop day. She believed in Karma. Whenever someone did her wrong or was rude to her, she would put them on her "Poop" list. Every Friday the 13th, she would carry an umbrella. She said there were angels in charge of the list of names the pigeons were…

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE - A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away…

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail   when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman  entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his  eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly- attentive stare & walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologi…

There was a gas station in trying to increase its gas sales, so the owner put up a sign saying, “Free Sex with Fill-up.” Soon a customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer…