funny grandma

My wife and I have the secret to making the marriage last...  Twice a week we go to a nice restaurant,  have some good food,  a little wine and companionship.  She goes Tuesday and I go Friday.  We sleep in separate beds,  hers in Sydney and mine in Melbourne.  I take my wife everywhere,  but she keeps finding her …

An elderly woman walked into the main office of Chase Manhattan Bank building, holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the teller’s window that she wished to deposit the $3 million in the bag and open an account at the bank. She said that first, though, she wished to meet the president of t…

A wealthy man decided to go on safari in Africa. Instead of leaving him with a pet sitter, the man took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund was chasing butterflies and before long discovered that he was lost. After wandering for a bit, the dachshund noticed a leopard heading rapidly i…

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parents’ nasty divorce. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought t…

A Newfoundland farmer named Angus had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Angus.  'Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.  Angu…

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town.  After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.  The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager: 'Go up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed.  These two…