funny grandma

A few days before the group’s annual departure date, Bob’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Bob’s fishing buddies are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do? Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Bob sitting there with his tent set  up, firewood gathered, a large trou…

Sam signs up with the army and gets sent on basic training. When they are handing out rifles, he is at the back of the line and they run out just before they get to him. The Sergeant gives him a stick and tells him to just pretend it’s a rifle. So our hero goes running through the mock battle pointing his stick and ye…

A little old couple in their eighties was sitting on the couch watching the Playboy movie channel. He looked at her and asked, “Do you think we can still do that?” “Well, we can sure try!” she answered. So they shuffled off to the bedroom. He went into the bathroom to get ready and she took off all her clothes in the …

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target: De…

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”. ‘About 32,’ is the reply.’ ‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,…

Seamus the farmer had a nagging wife. She made his life miserable. The only real peace  he got was when he was out in the field  ploughing. One day while in the field, Seamus’s wife brought  him his lunch. Then while he quietly ate she  berated him with a constant stream of nagging  and complaining. Suddenly, Seamus’s…

Tom married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said the judge. “Well, your honor, every once in a while my sister-in-law would come over for a visit, and  because she and my wife looked exactly alike, every once in a wh…

A married man was visiting his  “girlfriend”, When she requested that he  shave his beard. “Oh James, I like your  beard, but I would really love to see  your handsome face.” James replied,  “My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t  possibly do it. She would kill me!!” “Oh  please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a  sexy…

An elderly man feared his wife wasn’t  hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.  Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the  problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could  perform to give the Doctor a better idea ab…

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.   They had shared everything.  They had talked about everything.  They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.   For all of th…

An older white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday with his beautiful young girlfriend at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.   The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5000 ring and showed it to him.   The old man said, “I don’t think you …

A woman decides to surprise her husband with a brand new luxury wardrobe... While he's at work she goes to IKEA and finds a beautiful wardrobe, buys it, and returns home. Reading the instructions, she easily assembles the marvelous piece of furniture Then, as she stood satisfied about her work, a bus passed by the…