funny grandma

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you have sex with me?" Horrified, she replies, &q…

Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me AGAIN, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time. "Like sitting around the pool and drinking wine is not a good thing?" I asked. Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favorite topic of conversation. She was "only thinking o…

BLONDE JOKE THAT YOU'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!‘ The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, ‘Well, lit…

A girl promises to teach her A girl promises to teach her boyfriend what 69ing is. He lies down on the floor and she squats down over his face to assume the position and farts. Embarrassed she stands up and apologizes. She squats down for another go but farts again, she gets up and apologizes again. Before she can h…

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, …

A teacher said to her class, “Right, I’m going to hold something under the desk and I want you to guess it. This one is round and red.” Little Johnny’s hand shot up, but he was ignored. “It’s a plum miss,” said a girl. “no it’s an apple, but I like your thinking. The next one is oval-shaped and green.” The teacher ign…

The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the large, muscular, Scotsman he says, "You're in   charge of shoveling." To the slightly less muscular but still large Italian man, he says, "You're in charge of sweeping." And to the skinny Chinese man he says, "You're in c…