funny grandma

I was in a public toilet and had just sat down, when I heard a voice from the next cubicle,   “Hi! How are you?”   Now, I’m not the type to start a conversation in the  restroom. I don’t know what got into me, but I answered,  somewhat embarrassed,   “Doin’ just fine!”   And the other person says,   “So what are you …

An elderly man living alone in North Gosford wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, But it was very difficult to work since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad bec…

Three elderly women are talking about their troubles. “Sixty is the worst age to be,” said Ruth, the 60-year-old, “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time nothing happens.” “Ah, that’s nothing,” said the 70-year-old, Maxine. “When you’re 70, you don’t have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxativ…

> The Retired Husband After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter…

An old man was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. “This is exciting,” thought the old man. “I’ve always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I’ll be able to see him in person.” Imagine his surprise when the Pope sat down in the seat next to him for the flight. Still, the m…

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to a lessons about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer then asks, “Really? Who is giving that lecture a…

A couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said; “Beth, soon we will be married 30 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 30 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”   Beth replied, “Well Charles, I have to be honest with …

Dave and his wife were working in their garden one day when Dave looks over at his wife and says, “Your butt is getting really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.” With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife…

A NUN SWEARS LOUDLY UN THE GULF CURSE BUT HER EXPLANATION WHY IS PURE BOLD. A nun walks into Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. ’What troubles you, Sister?’asked the Mother Su- superior. ’I thought this was the day you spent with your family.’ 'It w…

A man and his wife are driving down the road when they hit a baby skunk. “It’s still alive!” The wife exclaimed, looking back at the poor skunk. “Alright, I’ll just go back and hit it again, put it out of its misery,” the husband replied. “No don’t, it’s just a baby! We have to call the vet!” The husband waits patien…

A Priest and a Lawyer walk into a bakery.   The Lawyer looks around shrewdly, grabs three  freshly  baked buns and quickly puts them into his pockets.   He says to the Priest, “That took great skill and  guile to  steal those buns. The owner didn’t even see me.”   The Priest replied, “That’s just simple thievery,  I’…