funny grandma

She looked pretty good for a lady who must have been in her 60s. In fact she wasn’t bad at all! I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers and then she asked me if I’d ever had a “Sportsmans Double”. “What’s that?” I asked. “It’s a mother and daughter threesome” she repl…

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman seated over there' ..... and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the w…

One Sunday, when counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000.  It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for …

Before he died, Billy Graham was retur ning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine waiting to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver . "You know," he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never…

The police were called to a female gym.   The female manager ran out to greet the two male officers as they exited their vehicle.   “Please, come quickly.” She said in horror, “We’ve found a peep hole drilled into the changing room. Some pervert has been watching us!”   “Don’t worry,” the policeman said reassuringly…

The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?  We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.”   “Yes”, she says, “I remember it well.”   “OK”, he says, “How about taking a stroll around there aga…

A man goes to the confessional.   “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”   “What is your sin, my child?” The priest asks back.   “Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible.”   “When did you do use this awful language?” said the priest.   “I was golfing and hit an i…

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors: Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her and some of the males actually joined in. One day, …