funny grandma

A gynecologist waits on his last patient, who does not arrive. After an hour, he makes a gin and tonic to relax. After he settles into an armchair to read the newspaper, he hears the doorbell ring. It’s the patient, who arrives all embarrassed and apologizes for the delay. “It doesn't matter,” answers the doctor…

For two years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.  Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money to go to Italy and secretly  have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide ch…

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Maybe I’l…

One day little Johnny was playing outside. As he was feeling particularly reckless, Johnny kicked a beehive. The honeybees cam out of the hive and started swirling around Johnny. This pissed Johnny off so he stomped on the bees. His father witnessed this and told him: “Don’t do that! No honey for a month as a punis…

A Travel Agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the many posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had been having a pretty good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He call…

CHUCKLE OF THE DAY: Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly&quo…

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. G…

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store: The parrot said to her. “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home, she saw the same parrot and it said to her. “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”…