funny grandma

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me—it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would re…

A boss said to his secretary I want to have sex with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down  to pick it I’ll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but “Ask him for $2000, pick up the m…

Little Johnny is in his closet when he hears a noise. His mom comes in and starts having sex with someone other than his dad. He hears a door slam and his mother say “Oh no, my husband his home! Quick! Hide in the closet.” The man get in the closet and little Johnny says: “Dark in here isn’t it?”   The man is start…

ne day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, “Hey, Mommy! Mommy! Today in school we learned to count. The other kids could only count to three but I can count to ten….. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!” The mother responds, “Very good honey.” The blonde asks, “Is that because I’m a blonde mo…

A blonde is on vacation and she walks into an Internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mom in America. She doesn’t know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: “Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?” The guy say’s, “Yeah, but it will cost ya.” And the blonde says, “Su…

A busty blonde woman walks into a New York bank and goes straight up to the counter. “Hello,” the man behind the counter says to the woman. “How can I help you today?” The blonde has to think for a moment and finally says, “I need a loan of two-hundred and fifty dollars.”   The bank teller responds, “That’s not a p…

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. “What is that?” he asked. She said, “I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo ‘Merry Chris…

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.…

An old man decides to start a farm. As an insurance adjuster, he always wanted to start a farm out in the country. He takes his retirement and moves out to the country, and immediately goes to a local market in order to purchase animals to start his farm with. He sees a stand with hens. He thinks, “Well, it wouldn’t…

An old man was sitting in a private box at a major football match with an empty seat next to him: A young enthusiast saw the empty seat and said to the old man. “Who on earth has paid for this expensive seat but not turned up! they must be mad, do you mind if I sit here?” The old man sadly looked up and said. “For …

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of the…

A biologist phones his wife from his office and says,  "Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season,  but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes,  my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas?  I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up."  A week la…