funny grandma

After their 11th child, a Kentucky couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford any more kids.   So, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but …

Husband and wife were both in the room discussing while the wife was busy with her phone. Wife: Hubby, this guy is still disturbing me Husband: Seriously? He is getting out of hand, you know what, tell him yu av agreed Wife: What? Husband: Don’t worry, we will both teach him a lesson Wife: How?? Husband: You just te…

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morn…

DDDDDDDDDDDD It’s a little Johnny’s seventh birthday. : For his birthday, his parents buy him a really superb cowboy outfit. it’s got everything: the boots, the spurs, the tiny plastic revolvers. The Little Johnny is thrilled; He doesn’t take the outfit off all day. That evening, the little Johnny’s parents take him …

John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde.   His buddies are amazed. “There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old geezer like you. How did you  pull it off?” “It’s simple,” John says, “I lied to her abou…

A woman was sitting in her front garden, enjoying the sun and reading a book, when she was startled by a car that crashed through her hedge and came to rest right in front of her. I mean a car crash that happened right in front of her, no wonder she was startled.   She got up from her chair and helped the elderly dr…

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them …

In English class the teacher says (Teacher): Kids you need to say the alphabet ok Sally you first. Sally: Okay a b c d e f g h I j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. Teacher: good job Sally. Then the teacher called on 4 other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on little Johnny. Teacher: Little Johnny …

A Brunette, Redhead and Blonde entered into a game show. The host explained the rules, “I am going to say jokes for a hour straight and who ever doesn’t laugh at the end receives $5000.00!”   The host starts and after 15 minutes the redhead is out. He continues and after 40 minutes the brunette is out. When the clo…

A poorly dressed woman entered a fancy restaurant. All the customers looked at her with scorn. The woman was wearing a ragged old dress and had a sloppy look. The hostess immediately ran up to her not even trying to hide her disgust.   “Madam you have probably mistaken the place for somewhere else.” All she wanted …

A man had a wife and a mistress and he didn’t know who to choose. He decided to go see a wise man to find an answer to his problem. He asked him if he had to be with his wife or mistress.   The wise, looked at him and took two pots in his hands: one with a rose and the other with a cactus and asked him: “What do you d…

One sunny day, Father Ted is driving his car down a small country road, when he suddenly spots a nun waiting at a bus stop. Always one to lend a helping hand, he pulls over and offers her a lift. The young nun thanks him, puts her luggage in the trunk, and sits down in the passenger seat next to the priest. The poo…