funny grandma

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!” My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still drea…

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town, and on this special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well,” explained the husband, “it all goes back to our h…

A woman goes out shopping with her husband and spots a pair of shoes she likes and must have… The husband says, “No f*cking chance love, They’re too expensive!” Later on that night in bed, The wife is just falling off to sleep when the husband tries his luck and places his hands on her hips…. She turns to him and says…

A robber enters a bank, he pulls out a gun, and he shouts: "Everyone on the ground. This is a robbery!". Immediately, everyone in the bank drops down with their hands on their heads except for one man reading a newspaper. The man lowers his newspaper and begins to stare at the robber with an amused look on h…

A woman awakes in the middle of the night to find her husband not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him. He appears to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes away a tear from hi…

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better and to help with their spelling. She explained: “I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us al…

I think all of us have experienced that moment when we walk away from a situation in which somebody got the upper hand and a few minutes or perhaps a few hours later, we think of the ultimate comeback line. We sometimes just say that we aren’t quick enough to think of those things on the fly but every once in a while,…

Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey the way to get him to go is to scream Thank God. …

A woman is constantly seeing the same man in an elevator every Friday at 3:00 She gets off on the 3rd floor and he always goes to the 5th. Finally one day she says “it always see you here,  I get off on the third floor and give blood “ bragging she says”my blood is rare so they give me $50 a week.”  The man smiles a…