funny grandma

One day, a father and his daughter are together. The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears her say, ” God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa.” The father hears all of this and barges back into the room. He asks her, ” Why did you…

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician.   “Doctor,” the man said, “I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine.”   “Nonsense,” the doctor said. “Even though you and your wife both ha…

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.  He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. …

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a few weeks of each other. But Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started. So she made them all promise to send a postcard from their honeymoons with a few words on how marital procreation felt. The first girl sent a car…

A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost He saw a lady up ahead of him and went to her and said, “Can you please help me, I don’t know what Hole I’m on.” She told him “You are one hole behind me. I’m on 7; you’re on 6.” He thanked her and continued playing golf. Later, he got lost again. He saw the same lady a…

Oh, the high school prom. Girls fantasized about their prom night for years. There are a lot of things to think about, from picking the perfect date to finding the perfect dress. Unfortunately, not every girl can afford the dress of her dreams, which can dampen what otherwise should be an exciting occasion. She had …

A wife decides to take her husband, Dave, to a strip club for his birthday.   They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”   His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.   “Oh no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”   When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d l…

Mildred was a 93-year-old woman, particularly despondent over the death of her husband, Earl.   She decided she would just end her life herself and join him in death.   Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl’s old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, s…

A man is alone in an airport lounge.   A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.   He decides that because she’s wearing a uniform, she’s probably an off-duty Flight Attendant.   So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her…

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years.   He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice: picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees.   The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.   One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pon…

My flight was being served by an  obviously gay flight attendant, who  did a great job at serving everyone  drinks and food. He ensured  everyone was having an enjoyable  flight, and I saw no complaints. As the plane prepared to descend,  he walked down the aisle and  relayed directions from the captain  of the plane.…