funny grandma

Two Italian men get on a bus... They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, the…

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle factory.   For many years, he had a powerful, almost uncontrollable desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.   Unable to stand it any longer, he finally sought professional help from the factory psychologist.   After six months of intense therapy, however, the frustrat…

One night a lone cowboy rode into a small town. He immediately went to the only saloon in town and ordered a drink.   While drinking he asked the bartender if there was a room and any women around. The bartender told him he had a room for rent and then glanced over to his friends drinking at another table.   They deci…

A guy and his girlfriend are in the shower together when the doorbell rings.   The girl is just hopping out so she says, “I’ll get it”.  She goes to the door with just a towel around her.   There’s a guy at the front door who looks at the half-naked beauty and says, “My name is Barry, I’ll give you $500 to drop the to…

One day an elderly fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, tryin…

An arrogant professor boards a plane and gets a seat beside an old man. Mid-flight, the professor decides to play a game with the old man and prove he’s intellectually superior, so he turns to him and says: “Hey, do you want to play a little game with me?” The old man looks at him and says: “Depends. What type of ga…

A man is driving down a country road when he loses control of his car and ends up in a ditch. He gets out of the car and knocks on a farmhouse door for help. He explains his situation to the farmer. The farmer gets his horse and they walk to the crash scene. The farmer then uses rope to tie the horse to the car Pull, …

Little Johnny was playing in his room,… when his dad walked in and explained that he and his mom were getting a divorce. “Why Daddy?” asked a confused Little Johnny. “Well, son” he explained, “Your mother and I are no longer in love.” Now more confused, Little Johnny asked, “What does being in love mean?” “Let me give…

A young man had just got a job at an electrical store and was to start work on Monday. Unfortunately, he called in sick for the day. The boss was a little annoyed but decided that sh*t happens and let it go. The guy came in Tuesday and sold a stack of electronics, and continued on for the rest of the week selling re…