funny grandma

A man goes to the confessional.   “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”   “What is your sin, my child?” The priest asks back.   “Well,” the man starts, “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible.”   “When did you do use this awful language?” said the priest.   “I was golfing and hit an i…

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors: Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her and some of the males actually joined in. One day, …

AN ENGINEER GOES TO HELL: An engineer dies and suddenly finds himself standing at the Pearly Gates, in front of Saint Peter who’s holding a clipboard. Saint Peter takes a few moments to review his list and then says to the engineer, “I’m sorry old boy but you’re not on the list. That means you’ll have to go down bel…

An American on vacation in Paris is having breakfast at a cafe one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The American ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation. Frenchman: “You American folk eat the whole bread?” American…

Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter, the princess. But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt. No matter what; metal, wood, plastic - anything she touched would melt! Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her. The king despaired. …

👱‍♀️ 80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stu*pid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader a…