funny grandma

Maria was a 19 year old Mexican maid who worked for a wealthy Californian couple.   She wasn’t well paid, and one day she asked her boss for a pay increase.   Her boss was annoyed at this and asked, “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?”   Maria: “Well señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase… The …

Three men die and are sent to Hell.  Satan punishes them based on their sins.   They all must spend 80 years locked in a room with the guilty pleasures they had in life.   The alcoholic will have all the booze he can drink.  The sex addict will have countless beautiful, horny women.  And the pot head will have all t…

Joke Title: Test An old woman had 3 daughters. One day she  decided to test her Sons-in-law. One day she was walking  along a lake-shore with the first son-in-law. Purposefully, she fell down in the lake and started yelling for help. The first son- in-law jumped into the water and dragged her out into the  shore. The …

Joke Title: Acquainted  This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus  stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver  opened the doors. She tried to step up onto the step but her  skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it  a little. She tried to step up onto the steps…

A Police Officer was waiting along the side of a  highway waiting to catch speeding drivers.  There weren’t as many violators this day as  usual. The State Police Officer sees an old car  puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to  himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a  speeder!” So he turns on his lights and p…

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week,  company training session. Her husband drives  her to the airport and wishes her to have a  good trip. The wife answers: “Thank you  honey, what would you like me to bring for  you?” The husband laughs and says: “An  Italian girl,…!!!” The woman kept quiet and left.  Two weeks…

A woman (mom) was sitting at a  bar enjoying a cocktail after work  one night, when the bar door  opened and the most gorgeous  hunk of a man she had ever seen  entered. He was tall, muscular,  and handsome, with thick dark  hair and beautiful, sparkling green  eyes, and his every movement  was so masculine and sensuo…

This lady that was wearing a tight skirt was waiting at the bus stop to get onto the bus. A bus pulled up and the driver opened the doors. She tried to step up onto the step but her skirt was too tight. So she reached back to unzip and loosen it a little. She tried to step up onto the steps again. But it was still to …

A 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland  was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed  trying to make her last journey comfortable.  They tried giving her some warm milk to drink  but she refused it. One of the nuns took the  glass back to the kitchen and remembering a  bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the…

A couple had been married for over 50 years  and had many children and grandchildren.  One day, the eldest son calls his father for a  normal chat and his father starts musing. “You  know son, after 50 years, I’m not really in love  with your mother any more,… I’m thinking of  getting a divorce and leaving her.” The s…

Joke Title: This Is The Maid A guy dials  his home and a strange woman answers.  The guy says, “Who is this?” “This is the  maid,” answers the woman. “We don’t  have a maid,” says the man.  The woman  says,  “I was hired this  morning by the woman of the house.”  The man says, “Well, this is her  husband. Is she there…

An elderly man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he  thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he  called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a  simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea  ab…